Erma (Anna’s grandmother) got to my apartment at about 9:30 Saturday morning and we left for Elko. She wanted me to drive, since it is so far. She has a nice car, but it’s an automatic. That’s not bad per se, but we stopped in Wendover to eat at Burger King. As I went to pull into a parking spot, I put in the clutch to coast for the last bit. Of course there is no clutch, so we stopped rather faster than I had hoped. It was quite embarrassing, but thankfully no harm was done.

Saturday was Laura’s birthday, and Erma’s had been a few days before. When we got there they gave Erma a Heber City puzzle which she promptly began putting together. Apparently she is quite a puzzle aficionado, and gets rather grumpy if people help her too much. I did not experience her wrath however, so I can’t comment. She seems a very lighthearted woman, with a great sense of humor. In other words, the Elwoods come by it honestly.

I learned a very interesting thing about our mutual ancestor Mary Ann Faucett. Margie told me she prayed that her descendents would never be burdened with the trial of wealth. Personally, I am grateful for that. At the moment I don’t want to be rich. I think that stems from the fact that we never were affluent, and I haven’t grown accustomed to having money. This apathy for material things is something that I want for my children as well. I suppose I wouldn’t mind having sufficient money, but I am afraid that if I had enough I might grow accustomed to leisure. Already I have begun to spend more than I really need to. No one needs to eat out as much as I do.

We did several things Saturday: played ping pong and Uno, watched Court Jester, and had birthday cake with over 90 candles on it! The most important thing was that Anna and I took a walk. As much as I like Anna’s family, I needed some time to talk to Anna alone. I enjoyed it, but I could have done a better job of making conversation. I wish I were better at that. I usually don’t mind silence, but I feel bad because I think other people probably do mind. I try to make conversation to avoid the silence, but I usually fail, or at least look rather awkward.

About the walk. We talked a little about school, and what each of us wants to do for a career. She isn’t sure if she wants to be a teacher or do something with statistics. I of course am very excited to become a professor. She was planning on going into statistics, but then she was TA for a class. She discovered (much as I did) that she really likes teaching. I always swore that I would never teach (the old adage about those who can, do). Now I am nearly positive that it forms a part of what I want to do—the other part being research.

As we talked, I wondered (as I still do) how one goes about getting to know someone. Going from acquaintance to intimate friend is difficult. After all, I already know the answers to “what’s your name” and “what’s your major” type questions. Those are easy. What does one ask after that? One can get general ideas about the other person by asking questions, but, a list of facts has never been, and never will be, considered knowing someone. What is the difference then? In the past I have gotten to know the people I know as much by accident as by design. At least the process has been accidental. I have on occasion chosen those that I wished to know better, but I came to know them through time, trial and error. There must be a better way.

It occurs to me that to come to know someone else, one needs something to talk about. Something in which both people are interested, and of which they both have some knowledge. Something other than each other, and other than the relationship. This allows a person to see how the other thinks, while being comfortable enough to open himself up. It must be both interesting and within the realm of intelligent conversation for both people or it cannot serve these purposes. It should also be something serious. I know several people with whom I can joke, but I don’t feel that this causes me to know them any better. The trick then, may very well be finding something to discuss and talking about it. Once each person feels comfortable around the other, the topic can range to other things and the relationship will benefit. Until that point, however, talking about many different things won’t make too much difference since each person will still feel slightly uncomfortable and won’t be able to open up.

Although I do like Anna, and I feel comfortable around her, I am not as comfortable as I would like to be, or ought to be if we are ever to be married. I have not gotten to the point where I crave talking to her. I am still at the point of wondering what to say. If my theory is correct (which it probably isn’t), then I need to find something to discuss. I really want to get to know her as quickly as possible. Whether or not we get married I would like to count her among my friends, and I am very anxious to be able to do so soon. This is a very peculiar sensation for me. Normally I am in no hurry to make new friends. I remember consciously deciding before I started high school, that I would purposefully not make friends for a while. I would wait until I knew who I wanted to be friends with. I have never felt any urgency to make a friend. Until now. Am I getting too old? Am I that desperate to get married? Is my personality changing? Or do I just like her that much? I wish I knew so that I could act more appropriately.

I wonder if this is somehow related to my inability to describe people. Even people I know well, I can’t describe, either physically or psychologically. I can’t even picture them or recall their voice most of the time. Some writer I would have been will be. I would like to have the ability though, so maybe I should start practicing. Perhaps I should try to get to know Anna, and try to describe her at the same time. I think it will be a challenging and rewarding exercise. I don’t know that I will put it up here, but I may.

Sunday was one of the best sacrament meetings that I have had in a long time. The talks were excellent. When Anna gave her farewell talk she seemed nervous, but now she was very confident. She taught doctrine through the few stories that she did tell (what a novel concept). She had told me some other stories on our walk the night before. It was obvious that she was changed by her mission. I cried, but then I often do, whether or not it’s warranted.

Laura was going to receive her patriarchal blessing Sunday, and so she fasted the whole day, despite us eating in front of her. She seems like a very neat girl. If I wasn’t 7 years her senior, and interested in her sister… ;-) Then again the same could be said of all her sisters. I hope I have daughters. Sinikka has helped convince me.

As you can tell I tend to ramble. I’m sorry about that.