Does the gospel favor extroverts? That’s a question that I have only recently asked myself. Not because I wasn’t concerned with it before, but because I never thought to articulate it. I grew up thinking that having friends was a (perhaps necessary) evil. That the only reason a person had friends was because he wasn’t strong enough to go through life without them. I even thought that this is what the gospel taught. I realize this may sound ludicrous, but it’s true. I still don’t know how I reconciled that great emphasis that is placed on families.

I have long suspected that I am an introvert. In fact suspected is not the proper term. I reveled in it. I thought that I was better than other people because of it. It was on my mission that I finally realized the error of my ways and began the long hard road of repentance. One of the most important parts of the gospel are the relationships that we have with other people. That is at least partly why there is so much emphasis placed on the family. I have come to believe that one of the only lasting things are the relationships we form with others. I don’t know that the importance of other people can be overstated.

Unfortunately, for the next few years I thought that meant I had to be outgoing and social. While I learned many things that will no doubt be of use to me, and I did grow to enjoy social functions more, I still felt uncomfortable. I don’t enjoy being the center of attention. I don’t need social activities to be happy. That is to say, I am an introvert. I recently read an article entitled Caring for Your Introvert. It talks about some of the big differences between introverts and extroverts and why introverts get such a bad wrap in society. It also made me realize that one does not have to hate people, nor be shy, to be an introvert. In fact quite the opposite can be true. An introvert is more someone who doesn’t like to always be in social settings. This is definitely me.

I learned several signs of introversion that I found fascinating. For example, the best quote in the whole article was:

The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself.

If that’s not true of me, I don’t know what is. Sometimes I want everyone to know how cool I am. For instance with the ACM programming contest. I want everyone to think, “Wow, that Ivan is pretty neat,” but I hate it when any one mentions anything about it. I hate telling people about it. Especially after I have told several people. There are few things that I enjoy less than being the center of attention. The funny thing is that I don’t mind giving a talk or presentation. As long as the focus is on the material I seem to be okay. I just hate when someone compliments me on it, or asks me about it. Luckily the article has made me come to realize that it’s okay to be introverted. You can still be a nice, friendly person. I have been validated as an introvert, yet I feel I understand the importance of relationships, at least to some degree. I have finally come to some balance in my life. One issue down. Fourteen thousand eight hundred ninety seven to go.

The worst of it is that extroverts have no idea of the torment they put us through.

As far as the gospel is concerned, I don’t think that we are required to be extroverts. First off this doesn’t seem fair. But then again a lot of things in the gospel don’t really seem fair. To date, I have seen nothing that I consider definitive indication that one should be extroverted. In fact I think Mormon was probably an introvert, at least he was ’sober’, which I often associate with introversion. Certainly the gospel doesn’t tell us that we should be introverted, but neither does it tell us that we must be extroverted. (If I am wrong, please correct me. You can leave a comment, or [[mailto:gvol@math.byu.edu][email me].) All that is required is that we love all men, and be willing to help them etc. Nothing intrinsically extroverted in any of that.

Of course all this begs the question, which is God? Is he one or the other? or is He some sort of divine blend? id est is intro/extro-version an eternal characteristic like gender, or is it more temporal like I assume race is? Of course there is nothing but speculation in this area, but it is a fun thought. There is a very fine line between different attributes that are part of us eternally, and others that can be ’overcome’ by our actions. I am certainly in no position to say. Nor am I really perfected enough to worry about it. Too many other things to worry about. (Like packing for a trip to Prague.)