I finally finished listening to Man’s Search for Meaning a few days ago. It was excellent. Without a doubt one of the best books I have read. It’s now on my required reading list.

Some of the most powerful things said (there were many) were his statements about unhappiness. Dr. Frankl states that in American society (and especially in Mormon society I believe) being unhappy is seen as an unhealthy, even wicked state. Thus when someone is unhappy, they not only feel unhappy, but they also feel shame and guilt about being unhappy. Temporary unavoidable unhappiness is normal and should not be seen as bad.

Dr. Frankl says that happiness, like success, should not be sought. It must come as a byproduct from pursuing the meaning of our lives. I think this is what the gospel teaches, though not always what is taught from the pulpit. I remember once someone saying (I believe it was in sacrament meeting) that if you were unhappy you needed to repent. I don’t think this is necessarily true. To be happy we need to be charitable, righteous, etc. and then the Lord will bless us with peace and happiness, but not in every moment. There is no magical formula for acquiring happiness or success, because as soon as they becomes our aim we become incapable of attaining them, at least in it’s truest form. It is true that some measure of success may be attained by working hard, and we may attain some amount of happiness in the same manner. I am afraid however, that this is the cheapest and least desirable type of both success and happiness. In the case of happiness we usually call it pleasure. For our purposes, this pleasure may be emotional or physical. Emotional pleasure is what girlfriends provide. As with the physical, there is nothing wrong with emotional pleasures, but by their very nature they do not last. When a girlfriend is not around one forgets her and goes on with life much as if she didn’t exist. Either that or the power of the emotions is so great that one can’t forget her. Certainly it is pleasant to think on one’s girlfriend, but the passion is too ardent. The star that burns twice as bright burns half as long.

Wives on the other hand provide more lasting joy. When they are out of sight, one may appear to continue life as usual. But whether far away or in the same room, they are always in the back of one’s mind. There may be times when one cannot stop thinking of one’s wife, but in general they have become a part of oneself. Just as one does not constantly think of one’s handsor feet—despite deriving great and lasting enjoyment, pleasure and happiness from them—one does not constantly think of one’s wife. This I believe is the essence of lasting joy and happiness—being one with something (or someone) good. Whether it be a just cause, a spouse, or ideally God, this sublime oneness can be a source of lasting joy.

When I speak of wives and girlfriends, don’t assume that I know what I am talking about. I write nothing more than how I imagine it to be, or perhaps how I hope it will be.

Frankl also states that there are many possible meanings to life. One, which I have so glibly discussed, is love. Another is to do a specific deed, to experience some event, or even just to suffer nobly. I know even less about these so I will refrain for the moment from making my ignorance known. I find it interesting that he acknowledges that the meaning of life is different for different people, and at different times. I don’t doubt this is true. What some people don’t realize is that the gospel doesn’t have all the answers. Each person has to find at least some of the answers for himself. The thing that the gospel does is show us the way to find all the answers. Between patriarchal blessings and personal revelation, there are very few important things that we can’t know if we just ask.

Frankl emphasizes that we can find meaning in our lives without suffering, but that we can also find it in and through

suffering. There is no reason to think that one person is better than another just because one suffers and another does not. Likewise there no basis to judge based on success or happiness. Success in life is not a criterion of being righteous. I think most people know this, but don’t believe it. The same is true of happiness. Where is it written that we must be happy to be good? Yes, I am aware that man is that he might have joy. But that is the purpose of existence, it doesn’t mean that we can’t experience other things. It also says joy, not happiness. In my experience, the two have relatively little to do with each other. Similarly, I don’t think the commandments to rejoice mean that we must be happy. They mean, at least to me, that we should be thankful and take hope and joy from the things that we do have—not that we should try forcing ourselves to be happy, and sometimes more effectively.

I certainly don’t think that we should strive to be unhappy, or even be content with unhappiness, but we shouldn’t view it as unhealthy, or judge people inferior because they are unhappy. We can learn as much from being unhappy as we learn from being happy. I believe they will teach us the same lessons, but in different ways. Much like people who have repented can teach us the same lessons as those who have lived clean lives.

Perhaps there are people who can make themselves happy at will. We have all heard those disgustingly sweet stories of such people. I am not such a person. I have tried. It doesn’t work for me. And as I think about it, I am very glad this is the case. I don’t want to be happy all the time. I don’t think it’s healthy. That may sound weird, it may even be a sin, but it’s how I feel. If we never felt unhappy we would be deprived of many of the richest, most exquisite feelings. that this life has to offer I can’t imagine living life without ever being sad or depressed. I can’t imagine wanting to live such a life. Sure, I like being happy. Who doesn’t? But to never feel otherwise is not something I would be willing to experience.