How to make a Sacrament Program in 10 easy steps:

  1. Create a universe. Any kind will work, but I recommend the Big Bang Pro 2000 for beginners.
  2. Tune the parameters of your universe to allow a rich variety of life. The default parameters are not sufficient. They usually allow formation of atoms, but not molecules. The fine structure is, shall we say, too coarse. Try to push the speed of light as high as possible so that you can read your Sacrament Program that much sooner.
  3. Create a rocky planet. You may have to wait for a few generations of stars to die to create the requisite minerals. You’ll need plenty of carbon and oxygen.
  4. Collect water from comets and other icy bodies to your planet. Have patience and gather plenty of water—about ⅔ to ¾ of the surface is ideal.
  5. Create life. It’s generally considered best to create single cellular life first and then move on to multi-cellular. It might seem like it will take longer, but the lessons you learn with the wee little microbes will save you time in the long run.
  6. Create plants. Again, take your time and make them in the ocean first, before creating land plants. The experience is valuable and growing on land is much more demanding.
  7. At this point you can create pithy sedges or spend more time to create conifers. Conifers will obviously take more work to create, but give rise to a more durable product. The truly ambitious can create a unique artisanal Sacrament Program by creating Yggdrasil.
  8. Smelt minerals from the rocky surface (you did include easily accessible mineral deposits didn’t you?), and forge them to create a scythe or axe (depending on your choice in the previous stage).
  9. Harvest your plant of choice and extract the fibers to create a cheap, expendable writing surface.
  10. Decorate to taste.